We Have to Beat Them Sometime
Date: Friday 24th September 2010
TW has covered its fear-dilated eyes with all manner of chattering triviality - gays in sport, the Commonwealth Games, stuff on the tellybox, chickens and songs about leftover stir-fry, house-prices and lettuce puns. Even the match thread, a paltry three pages as I write, is easily diverted into crisps and skydiving!
But we can avoid the subject no longer. By the way, an interesting thing happened to me yesterday.... did you see EastEnders last night.... weather looks like it's on the turn... has anyone tried those new badger-flavoured crisps from Aldi?
(Get on with it Bish - Ed)
OK - it seems we're playing Man U on Sunday. I'm conflicted. Of course I know that a slaughter is on the cards, I don't need to be persuaded of this, we all know it, we are due a battering that would redden even the cheeks of a Glasgow chip-shop chef.
BUT - and here's the terrible truth that just won't go away - I can never quite shake the deeply buried but still slightly warm and glowing irrational hope that in a game anything can happen, and once I allow that, then it is soon followed by the crippling belief that given we have been trumped by the big-boys over such a long time we are therefore due a scabby and lucky win... and before I know it, I am looking forwards to Sunday with a hint of expectation, and so I step out from behind all my carefully constructed defensive mechanisms and get smacked full square in the face by a crushing defeat...
SO - I'm not going to do that again - no, no way, not at all, never.
Manchester United will line up with a vastly superior side, a recent hat-trick scorer and the saviour of England keen to get back on track. We will line up with, by comparison, a team made up of old leftover body parts from Pinderfields Hospital, and we will lose. Heavily. And ignominiously. Fo' Shizzle.
My prediction? We win 2-1 with a scrambled last minute winner off Knight's arse - because, come on, it has to happen one day doesn't it? And that day could be Sunday, couldn't it? And maybe it will be one of those days when more than one of our players has a decent game.. and maybe Man U will have a bad day - they are not infallible - they have already drawn three times after all...
Oh bugger - I did it again - lock me in a cupboard missus...