Gillingham to Win
Date: Friday 6th May 2011
So, Sunderland have no strikers, have been on a shockingly bad run of form, are away from home, have a manager who looks like he has repeatedly slammed his head in a grand piano, have a one legged keeper, two midget 13 year old centre-backs, a midfield made of cheese and a nasty outbreak of deathwatch beetle in the bench. Are we confident of a Bolton win? err.... no!
It feels like a win is hard to come by just now - after losses to Stoke, Fulham and Blackburn in the last four games. Some might point out that these were away games and thus it was only to be expected - and then there was the win over Arsenal, wasn't there? No, actually, that was a dream - it never happened - mass hallucination - the idea is preposterous! Call me Doubting Thomas all you like - but in this instance, I am right.
One of the Forum threads this week has been the happy news of Monty's engagement, titled "The only thing we learn from history is..."
Well... The only thing we learn from history is that Bolton can fashion defeat from the most promising of circumstances.
The other only thing we learn from history is... (errr...) that raised hopes precede a kick in the knackers. Far too many Bolton fans are following Lawro into predictions of a fairly comfortable Bolton win here based on nothing more than the facts that we are better than them, they have no strikers, we are at home, we usually beat them at home, the sun is shining and there's funny smell of burning scrambled egg coming from Bruce's kitchen...
Word on the street is that GG is fixing guys up with gorgeous just-legal schoolgirls. Some of our older saggy-nutted forumites have shown interest, but I suspect there is more chance of strikerless Sunderland scoring (see what I did there?)
What will the lineups be? Who knows! Though I suspect rumours of reserves getting a start are far-fetched, it would be interesting to see the pacey Obadeyi on the bench - and a last ten minutes partnered with Sturridge (though unlikely) would be an exciting rocket up Sunderland's tired end-of-season arse...
What's more easy to predict is the result, depending on how the vote goes...
Under First Past the Post - a clear Sunderland win, despite the fact that we had 90% of the possession and 48 shots off the woodwork; under AV - a 14-12 win to Gillingham.