Set Pieces - Take the High Ground

Author: / Date: Friday 22 January 2010

It's been a week of crying foul in North London and Bolton. Two pieces by KB and HRG erm, tackle the questions...

 

Twelve months ago, funnily enough just after an Arsenal match, I wrote an article about 'Modern Football Fan', and how hypocrisy, lies and whinging don’t just come from managers’ post-match interviews, but also from fans. Twelve months on, and I feel it’s more apt than ever.

The two matches against Arsenal have been analysed and over analysed by overactive emotions, and some sort of sub-standard, online Parliamentary goading match is well into day four of lies, spin and imaginative abuse. First of all, and I try to be as impartial as possible here, I’ll try my best to explain the main flashpoints that have seen each side accuse the other of thuggery, buggery, hypocrisy and heresy, with something lacking recently – an open and non-rabid mind…..

Fabregas v Knight v Taylor

Zat Knight made a half-hearted attempt for the ball, and didn’t really catch anything. Fabregas went down, this time without the theatrics. Had anyone been punished for it, it would have been harsh. No penalty, no dive. Taylor could have avoided falling on top of Fabregas, but it wasn’t the 'driving down of the knee onto his neck' that most whinnying Arsenal fans have labelled it. Taylor shouldn’t have left his foot there. Fabregas should certainly not have held onto Taylor’s ankle as if it was a phone ready to be answered. It smacks of Fabregas trying to elevate a little bit of silly handbags into a full-scale scandal in order to get someone sent off, and Taylor inviting it to wind Fabregas up into similar behaviour. Taylor shouldn’t have then started tweaking Fabregas’ hair. I’ve read that “had it been in Bolton town centre, Taylor would have been sent down”. No. Had that happened in Bolton town centre, the pair of them would have been called a pair of 'bloody poofs', then laughed out of town. By four year olds. Girls, at that. It was laughably poor, childish behaviour from the pair of them.

Half of Bolton v Diaby, the undercard to Rosicky v Klasnic

A few hefty tackles going into a ball that was there to be won. Diaby’s control wasn’t best, and a bit of the strongarm from our midfield. I wouldn’t have been surprised had Arsenal been given a free kick there, as I did see Cohen backing in to shield the ball a little bit too enthusiastically at some point. However, that’s still no excuse for Rosicky to kick Klasnic off the ball. Klasnic does absolutely no favours in rolling around as if he’s just been pushed off Winter Hill. The biggest objection I have to this, however, is that Rosicky kicking another player isn’t 'poetic justice', 'divine retribution' or 'someone sticking up for his juniors'. It’s violent conduct. I just want to remind everyone about that before the pitchforks are swapped again.

Someone – possibly Robinson, but might have even been Lofty - on Fran Merida

Can someone help me on this, please? Saw nothing, heard nothing. Something tells me Fran Merida’s in the same boat as me.

Kevin Davies

What did he do this time? He’s been apparently pictured kicking Vermaelen. When did this happen? Was it when he tackled Vermaelen – fairly, taking the ball and not actually touching Vermaelen – during the first half? What was it? Off the ball? Fantasy angles? Photoshop?

And that’s Sunday done. Which brings me onto the main point, from Wednesday. Gallas on Mark Davies.

This was a bad tackle. Davies was a bit too quick for Gallas, who went in late and a bit over the ball. There really was no malice or intent in it. However, with football the way it is nowadays, it’s a straight red as it should now be seen as a dangerous tackle rather than a reckless one. But let’s get my main points for discussion out now:

- The ref had a good view of it, and decided in his weird wisdom not to do anything about it. Then watch it again and decide it’s still alright. Bizarre.
- Arsenal had ABSOLUTELY NO OBLIGATION to put the ball out of play straight away. Nothing is covered in the laws of the game concerning putting the ball out, nor is it 'good sportsmanship', otherwise we might as well all feign injury any time opponents are clean through. We didn’t do it when a Lokomotiv Plovdiv player did it in our first leg, and as a result of this Nicky Hunt put a world-class cross in for Diouf to score the winner that night. Let’s not expect it from others.
- It wasn’t “akin to assault”. It was akin to a very late, bad, clumsy tackle which looked like a stamp when slowed down. It wasn’t a stamp, just someone done by a quicker player. Let’s not fall into the trap of fans of other clubs to completely over-dramatise the slightest bit of foul play in order to paint other clubs as pariahs and paint our own as pure and good.
- Also, “that’s for the years of injuring our players” is not justification for a bad tackle. You can’t dish out incessant sanctimony about the “thuggery” of other teams and then celebrate the “thuggery” of your own.
- Fair play to Wenger – he might not see much, but he watched the challenge and apologised for it. Forget what he said about dishing out and what not in the post match press conference. He’s had time to think, watch, consider what happened and accepted that it was bad. Ever known him to do that before? No. I’ll give credit where credit’s due (so he can offload Wilshere? Ed).

Some – not a lot, but some – Arsenal fans celebrated the stretchering off of an opponent on Wednesday and hurled abuse at Davies as he was being carried off – something I’ve only ever seen at a Ryman League match before. Pathetic. Bolton fans, having spent recent times laughing at how pathetic the Arsenal whingers have been, tried to see how far their dummies could be spat behaving in exactly the same way as those they ridiculed. Pathetic. Arsenal fans, having spent years demanding that such strong tackling and niggly fouls “have no place in the Premier League”, glorify the same behaviour they’ve vilified. Pathetic.

I’m sure this will get me a lot of stick from a lot of people in a lot of corners, but please, people. Grow up. Gallas wasn’t violent, and should neither be strung up as much as he is or bigged up as much as he is for that tackle. Taylor wasn’t a thug, and should therefore not be given the sort of abuse he’s had. Arsenal fans shouldn’t be so blinkered and hypocritical. Neither should Bolton fans. I’m not demanding a love-in here, but I’m pleading to think before you try your next ascent towards the moral high ground.

KeeeeeeeBaaaaaab

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The tall Frenchman strode onto the training ground, which was currently being trimmed by hand by the local Belgian experts. He surveyed the scene, and his team were in a huddle in the corner, apparently comforting one of their own.

“What is the matter?” queried the Frenchman. The huddle dispersed and the short Spaniard wiped a tear from his cheek. He’d clearly been crying.

“It’s just that we have to play Bolton again this weekend boss, and I don’t want to do it. They may hurt me.”

At the snap of a finger the cotton wool blankets came out and Pat Rice, his pointless assistant wrapped the Spaniard and nearby Russian who was curled up in a ball shaking on the floor in them.

“It is true, they may hurt you,” agreed the Frenchman. He unfurled a newspaper. “This paper says that they kick people.” This seemed to trigger something in the minds of the players who were listening in. The Mexican clicked his fingers, and asked Uncle Pat for a blanket also.

“They kick people?” asked the brooding French defender. He nodded as his brain attempted to assimilate the information. He repeated it, but this time it was a statement, not a question. “They kick people.”
“Yes,” said the Frenchman. “They are quite physical.” A shriek of terror emerged from the dressing room. They all looked across. “The English kid,” nodded Uncle Pat. “I don’t think he can even face a football pitch with that kind of threat.”

“Well then, if that’s what the papers say, we need to be physical back,” said the brooding one, defiantly. He got up from the pitch where he was sat staring at the centre circle. He marched around staring his teammates manically in the eye. “We must also be physical. We must elbow them.”

“Yes!” Agreed the young left back, unsure what the word means.
“We must push them if they go near the Spanish boy.”
“Yes!” Three players now agreed with this, and it seemed to strike a chord. “We must kick them back! And harder.”

The Frenchman nodded. “I will of course turn a blind eye to such events. Good luck.”
Another shriek from the dressing room. The Russian sucked his thumb. The tear-stained eyes of the Spaniard filled with hope. “Thank you, my friend William. Now please, apply my oil.”

hisroyalgingerness

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