Joke thread

The Axman · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:47 am

glad you liked it.

Hoboh · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:50 am

The Axman wrote:

I'm moving this one here.

Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:

Sepp Blatter said rather than wrote:

I had a phone call from Phil Gartside, the chairman of Bolton, and I have to say it was a very emotional call. As he said, from time to time there are forces somewhere that have nothing to do with reality.

Blatter... Phil G... nothing to do with reality... there's gotta be a joke there, right?

Have you heard the one about the Qatari, Sepp Blatter, and Phil Gartside standing at a bar. The Qatari asked Phil Gartside how much he paid for his stadium, then he asks Sepp Blatter how much the Qataris should spend on their World Cup Stadium, to which Sepp Blatter said.... "no idea, I've nothing to do with realty". Ta da.

No idea mate we're still paying for it!

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:01 pm

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:17 pm

knock knock..
who's there?
to
to who?
to WHOM!!!!! :whack:

Prufrock · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:55 pm

Falsified deliberate corruption of the English language.

Not a real word.

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:09 pm

Prufrock wrote:

Falsified deliberate corruption of the English language.

Not a real word.

sorry to be critical, but...

crap joke!

Prufrock · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:18 pm

You just don't get it.

It's ironic :hang:

thebish · **Posted:** Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:32 pm

Annoyed Grunt · **Posted:** Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:25 pm

Winter Hill White · **Posted:** Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:48 am

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

thebish · **Posted:** Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:08 pm

seanworth · **Posted:** Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:48 pm

CrazyHorse · **Posted:** Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:46 pm

I once started a website for female drivers. It kept crashing.

jaffka · **Posted:** Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:03 pm

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position...still clasping his hands at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'

'Feels great,' he replied, 'but I still think my thumb's broken!'

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:02 am

some of these are very funny!!

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/

Lord Kangana · **Posted:** Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:39 am

The crisp one had me in tears.

Gary the Enfield · **Posted:** Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:42 am

Genius.

feck you Hitler! Ha Ha Ha!

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:01 am

thebish wrote:

some of these are very funny!!

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/

Brilliant.

Annoyed Grunt · **Posted:** Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:28 am

thebish wrote:

some of these are very funny!!

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/

Genius.

Joke thread

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