The Gardening Bed

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:51 am

Bruce Rioja wrote:

In my front garden the holly bush is laden with berries and the heather has flowered.

is this a euphemism for something you should see the doctor about??

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:55 am

thebish wrote:

Bruce Rioja wrote:

In my front garden the holly bush is laden with berries and the heather has flowered.

is this a euphemism for something you should see the doctor about??

No, they're the spots on my dick!

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:58 am

Bruce Rioja wrote:

thebish wrote:

Bruce Rioja wrote:

In my front garden the holly bush is laden with berries and the heather has flowered.

is this a euphemism for something you should see the doctor about??

No, they're the spots on my dick!

The Axman · **Posted:** Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:39 am

Yes the Holly bush can be laden of berries. Overall it's been a fairly mild winter and therefore a lot of berries have survived been stripped off by birds.
Heather is too generic to know whether or not it should be flowering in March - there are more than 800 species and thousands of varieties of Erica (heather to me'n'thee) and at least one of them will be flowering on any given day throughout the year.
WD40 is good for spots on dicks, but if it is primary syphilis, I'd get it seen to by a professional before it turns into tertiary syphilis which is very nasty indeed Bruce.

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:49 am

The Axman wrote:

WD40 is good for spots on dicks, but if it is primary syphilis, I'd get it seen to by a professional before it turns into tertiary syphilis which is very nasty indeed Bruce.

I used to work for WD-40. We ran a consumer promotion whereby consumers could win summat or other in response for letting us know their unusual uses for the product (very cheap but incredibly effective marketing).

We then had to send out hundreds of letters basically saying 'FFS don't do that with it!!! :shock:

'

thebish · **Posted:** Fri Mar 09, 2012 11:10 am

Bruce Rioja wrote:

The Axman wrote:

WD40 is good for spots on dicks, but if it is primary syphilis, I'd get it seen to by a professional before it turns into tertiary syphilis which is very nasty indeed Bruce.

I used to work for WD-40. We ran a consumer promotion whereby consumers could win summat or other in response for letting us know their unusual uses for the product (very cheap but incredibly effective marketing).

We then had to send out hundreds of letters basically saying 'FFS don't do that with it!!! :shock:

'

Dujon · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:29 am

Back to the garden:

Blasted stink bugs on my citrus plants. Are there stink bugs in your territory? The ones who inhabit my little part of this country are a bit like these (http://www.brisbaneinsects.com/brisbane ... geBugs.htm) with slightly different colouring. They really pong when disturbed, and moving close to one can result in eye problems should they squirt their evil smelling liquid like a 'dead-eye-dick' into one or more of your limpid orbs.

Fortunately it seems that there are but a few of them at the moment, although I did catch a couple of them in the act of fornication/copulation/rape. I don't think they affect the fruit already growing but they sure as heck make a mess of the new shoots. Anyway, here's to a good crop in a few months. :pissed:

bobo the clown · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:36 pm

Dujon wrote:

Back to the garden:

Blasted stink bugs on my citrus plants. Are there stink bugs in your territory? The ones who inhabit my little part of this country are a bit like these (http://www.brisbaneinsects.com/brisbane ... geBugs.htm) with slightly different colouring. They really pong when disturbed, and moving close to one can result in eye problems should they squirt their evil smelling liquid like a 'dead-eye-dick' into one or more of your limpid orbs.

Fortunately it seems that there are but a few of them at the moment, although I did catch a couple of them in the act of fornication/copulation/rape. I don't think they affect the fruit already growing but they sure as heck make a mess of the new shoots. Anyway, here's to a good crop in a few months. :pissed:

You see, things like this are why we can still be put off the Australian dream Dujon.

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:00 pm

bobo the clown wrote:

Dujon wrote:

Back to the garden:

Blasted stink bugs on my citrus plants. Are there stink bugs in your territory? The ones who inhabit my little part of this country are a bit like these (http://www.brisbaneinsects.com/brisbane ... geBugs.htm) with slightly different colouring. They really pong when disturbed, and moving close to one can result in eye problems should they squirt their evil smelling liquid like a 'dead-eye-dick' into one or more of your limpid orbs.

Fortunately it seems that there are but a few of them at the moment, although I did catch a couple of them in the act of fornication/copulation/rape. I don't think they affect the fruit already growing but they sure as heck make a mess of the new shoots. Anyway, here's to a good crop in a few months. :pissed:

You see, things like this are why we can still be put off the Australian dream Dujon.

Funnel web spiders and box jellyfish help me not share that dream too, Bobo

Gooner Girl · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:01 pm

Had some 'help' in the garden today from the chickens

whilst the ducks enjoyed the sun. Heres my 2 Khaki Campbell girls, Lily and Rosie and my Call Duck drake, Thierry (Kolo flew away, last seen on the village pond.

)

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:20 pm

These have popped up in a pot in the back garden. The white ones are crocuses, I know that, but then there are some purple things too, and what appears to be a stick with a couple of little green leaves on. :conf:

Little Green Man · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:23 pm

Purpley stuff looks like grape hyacinth to me.

Worthy4England · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:47 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:

and what appears to be a stick with a couple of little green leaves on. :conf:

That's about my level Brucie.

If the stick is about 20 ft tall or more, it could be what's known as a "tree".

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:00 pm

Little Green Man wrote:

Purpley stuff looks like grape hyacinth to me.

By jingo - I do believe you're right, LGM :oyea:

Don't remember seeing them last year though.

The Axman · **Posted:** Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:55 am

Worthy4England wrote:

Bruce Rioja wrote:

and what appears to be a stick with a couple of little green leaves on. :conf:

That's about my level Brucie.

If the stick is about 20 ft tall or more, it could be what's known as a "tree".

The Axman · **Posted:** Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:57 am

Is the stick sticky? Are the leaves at the top of the stick sticky?

thebish · **Posted:** Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:11 am

The Axman wrote:

Is the stick sticky? Are the leaves at the top of the stick sticky?

all sticks are sticky!! sticky is the very essence of stick!

The Axman · **Posted:** Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:14 am

thebish · **Posted:** Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:18 am

The Axman wrote:

Is the stick sticky? Are the leaves at the top of the stick sticky?

looks to me like the sticky thing with leaves on is the main plant around which some bulbs have been planted for spring interest..

it looks like it has a plastic label with its name... what does that say Bruce - it might be your answer! :wink:

The Axman · **Posted:** Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:25 am

thebish wrote:

The Axman wrote:

Is the stick sticky? Are the leaves at the top of the stick sticky?

looks to me like the sticky thing with leaves on is the main plant around which some bulbs have been planted for spring interest..

it looks like it has a plastic label with its name... what does that say Bruce - it might be your answer! :wink:

Wahay.

[you know that Dragon's Den thingy - could be we've got a business here: Tinternet Gardening Detectives]

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