The "WithoutHyperboleWorstPerformanceI'veEverSeen" thread.

Prufrock · **Posted:** Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:02 pm

No Bolton players (we'd all love the hilariously witty 'Paul Robinson' every week, but let's save that for the match threads).

The thread for acknowledging properly shit performances from players of other teams. Swansea's keeper would be an option, but the one I'm going for today is Marvin Emnes. Oh my days. Every time he touched it he lost it. Simple balls to feet got away, he tried fancy flicks to no-one, even simple passes were behind people. Particular highlight was just before half-time Middlesbrough were keeping hold of the ball, slowing things down, then from no-where he pulled the shitest backheel ever and passed it into a crowd of three Sunderland defenders. Barry Robson takes most of the blame for the Sunderland goal (though he can mitigate) but Emnes utterly wank effort which was meant to be a shot but ended as a perfect pass to Sunderland was also ace. I spent most of the game hoping he'd get it just for comedy value.

Anybody else seen any joke performances?

Worthy4England · **Posted:** Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:05 pm

I think Jose Enrique must be in with a fair shout, the last couple of games. I'd have contemplated bringing Robbo on.

Prufrock · **Posted:** Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:11 pm

He's one I've never understood the hype about. Never seen him be anything other than shite.

Wandering Willy · **Posted:** Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:46 pm

Mr A Carroll.

Odelay · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:07 am

Prufrock wrote:

He's one I've never understood the hype about. Never seen him be anything other than shite.

I thought he was the toon's only decent player when we dicked them 5-1.

Lord Kangana · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:17 am

Wandering Willy wrote:

Mr A Carroll.

Some of us were saying that when they signed him, JCL.

Prufrock · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:52 pm

Odelay wrote:

Prufrock wrote:

He's one I've never understood the hype about. Never seen him be anything other than shite.

I thought he was the toon's only decent player when we dicked them 5-1.

He was fecking shite that day, only saved from worse player ever award by Colocinni, who was ever worse!

Wandering Willy · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:36 pm

Nope - there was one worse. You know who it was.

jimbo · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:39 pm

Gohouri for Wigan against Bolton this year. Only on a half, but what half it was

boltonboris · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:48 pm

Evra's debut against City.

He was ripped to shreds by Trevor Sinclair. At fault for 2 goals and booked.

The Axman · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:54 pm

Crouch in virtually every game he's ever played, except for England where he ocassionally shines like a diamond set in turds.

Jokers in White · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:39 pm

Djbril Diawara for us against Leeds, Have to agree Pru Marvin Emnes was wank yesterday he couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.

jmjhb · **Posted:** Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:01 am

Sergei Rebrov v us a few season. Came on as a sub but was so shit that he got subbed himself about 20 mins later. His career hasn't been the same since.

Annoyed Grunt · **Posted:** Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:23 pm

Not seen but....Ali Dia, George Weah's "cousin".

bobo the clown · **Posted:** Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:38 pm

About 3 seasons ago, the first (I think) home game was against Spurs and Jermain Jenas's performance was just about the most inept I've ever seen.

Only bettered by some red-haired centre-half Wet Spam put out against us around that time. I can't recall his name but God he was shite.

Bruce Rioja · **Posted:** Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:46 pm

Prufrock wrote:

No Bolton players

Well, I'm coming in on a technicality then

Jon Ostemebor of Liverpool. 'Turned out' for us for 45 minutes.

Had all the speed, deftness and turning circle of The Queen Mary!

bobo the clown · **Posted:** Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:39 am

Bruce Rioja wrote:

Prufrock wrote:

No Bolton players

Well, I'm coming in on a technicality then

Jon Ostemebor of Liverpool. 'Turned out' for us for 45 minutes.

Had all the speed, deftness and turning circle of The Queen Mary!

with a hole in the bottom !!

Montreal Wanderer · **Posted:** Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:16 am

bobo the clown wrote:

Bruce Rioja wrote:

Prufrock wrote:

No Bolton players

Well, I'm coming in on a technicality then

Jon Ostemebor of Liverpool. 'Turned out' for us for 45 minutes.

Had all the speed, deftness and turning circle of The Queen Mary!

with a hole in the bottom !!

Which was why the lobster blushed, Bobo, unless you are too young.

Worthy4England · **Posted:** Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:55 pm

Enrique might be getting another vote from me. He's a donkey.

BWFC_Insane · **Posted:** Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:50 pm

Owen Coyle,

Bolton vs Wigan 11/02/2012

The "WithoutHyperboleWorstPerformanceI'veEverSeen" thread.

Who is online