Articles written by ratbert
Total Posts: 8498
Total Articles: 65
Member Since:
19th October 2004
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A Welcome in the Winter Hillside
In gardens everywhere the early shoots of spring are staring to appear; in a couple of short months to bloom as daffodils and tulips, much needed colour breaking through the winter gloom. Whisper it, but the green shoots of recovery are also starting to show in Bolton Wanderers’ hereto barren...
The New Pearly King
Grown men weep openly in the street. Women hold candlelit vigils around a plate of jellied eels. Teenagers lock themselves in their rooms for days playing ‘I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles’ on auto-repeat whilst staring blankly at their Scott Parker posters. The stock market crashes. Regimes fall. David Cameron calls a...
Exit via the Club Shop
A few weeks ago, just before the FA Cup semi-final, it all looked so rosy in the BWFC garden. We were going to breeze past Stoke and play Manchester United in the cup final and Kevin Davies was going to barge Van Der Sar into the net and win it...
Hatful of Hollow
Let’s be honest. We all had this down as a home banker didn’t we? After all, we weren’t playing away, which is reason to believe in itself. Sunderland aren’t very good, with 0.21 points from the last 80,000, with loads of players injured. Bolton only had to turn up. Sadly, the...
A Footballing Pot Pourri
Everton. A team named after a sweet. A team that defines efficient but unspectacular mediocrity. A team that beats Bolton more than happens the other way round. Everton. A moribund and forgettable experience in all kinds of ways. For this reason Sky have decided to show our latest clash with the...
Picken a Chicken
It’s common to begin Blackburn Rovers articles by describing them as inbred, six fingered, banjo plucking hillbillies. Which is untrue, as proper inbreds have at least eight digits. Anyway, we can now describe our pals from up the A666 as ‘chicken fanciers’ or ‘silly cluckers’ given that Rovers’ new Indian owners...
The Grim Reaping
The sight, on All Hallows Eve, of a tall grim reaper waving his scythe in the air outside entrance L of the Reebok Stadium suggested that today would be, in some way or other, a horror show. It almost wasn’t. It actually shouldn’t have been. But ultimately, it was. Liverpool do...
Unrequited Hate
“You can tell we’re in Wigan, look at all the slag heaps” said my Dad once as we passed through the blighted post-industrial Lancashire phantom zone en route to Southport. At least that’s what I think he said. He might have left the word ‘heaps’ off. It may only be...
Tripes Mangeant des Gangsters
Well there’s a bullet dodged. It appeared that the Curse of Bolton was about to strike again. You know the one – where teams on a losing streak break their duck by playing us, where a manager under pressure gets a reprieve by playing us, where a new manager gets...
How to Fail in Football Without Really Trying
Any quadrennial peruse of World Cup conetnders always brings up the 'underacheivers' - the teams who should come much closer to winning it than they actually do. Say hello Holland, Spain... and England. These teams have high-profile and successful domestic leagues, have produced some of the...
